Imagine my surprise, upon turning to the New York Times Op-Ed page last weekend, to find a David Brooks column headlined “Finally, Good News in Mideast.”

After all, I had just finished the news section of the paper.

Two articles recorded the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian strife. “In Gaza, Bodies, Rubble and a Lost Zoo” reported a recent Israeli incursion — the biggest in years — “that has so far left some 40 Palestinians dead.” The incursion “followed the killing of thirteen Israeli soldiers in Gaza last week,” and “was intended to sever weapons-smuggling routes in tunnels from Egypt.” The operation was planned after suicide bombers overcame the fenced boundary with Gaza and killed ten Israelis in mid-March.

And “Gaza Paradox: Israeli Army Moves In So It Can Pull Out,” observed “no one knows when — if ever — Israel may actually withdraw its 7,500 settlers and the troops who protect them. ” It added that “Israel has destroyed some 2,018 houses in Gaza during the conflict, leaving 18,382 people homeless,” and that the rate of demolitions has accelerated rapidly, from an average of less than twelve houses a month at the end of 2000 to 191 houses in the first fifteen days of May. The analysis concluded that “this kind of fighting is likely to continue and no one can say for how long.”

Only Brooks — ever wrong, never doubtful — can ferret out the hidden good news underlying death and destruction. He does it constantly when chronicling America’s unfolding Iraq debacle, and now, turning his sunny optimism to the Mideast’s most intractable conflict, he begins “Things are pretty depressing when you find yourself turning to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to cheer yourself up.” Indeed.

What’s there to cheer about? According to Brooks, “the first good thing” is the security fence Israel is constructing. “We didn’t know if the fence would oppress Palestinians by creating Bantustans — wholly enclosed Arab communities surrounded by barbed wire.” But good news! The Israelis planned a more intrusive fence, but were deterred by Colin Powell and Condi Rice’s “skillful diplomacy.” Now fewer than 13,000 Palestinians will be stranded on the Israeli side of the barrier.

The “second bit of good news” concerns the Gaza withdrawal, which has the Israeli Army moving in to pull out. In the gospel according to Brooks, the Israeli debate has shifted from “murky issues of security or history” to the “clearer issue of democracy.” Good news, that democracy — but for whom? Like Sharon and George Bush, David Brooks has decided there are few Palestinians worth talking to. But based on conversations with Israeli Vice-Premier Ehud Olmert, we can expect from the Israelis “a series of grudging unilateral actions that will lead to less death. These days, that’s cause for giddy celebration.”

But first Israeli forces must pour into Gaza, leaving thousands homeless and dozens more dead. With good news like that, who needs bad news?